3 Lies Parents Tell Their Kids
1. We are never taking you in that store again.
You know the deal - you're in the store and your kid is acting like someone injected pure caffeine into their veins. They're bouncing off the walls, hiding under racks, touching everything within reach... They whine, complain, laugh too loud, pretend aisle 6 is a zombie zone and proceed to use the packs of toilet paper to build a fort. You're really trying to keep your cool so no one is forced to call CPS, but by the time you make it to the vehicle you just can't hold it back anymore and out comes the "We are never taking you in that store again!". Yeppers! We're all guilty of this one. Too bad this lie isn't true.
2. You're grounded forever.
Your child is being annoying and trying to test your patience. They love seeing how far they can push you because there's a part of each of them that's a little sick and twisted. They sometimes even gang up on you and see how long it takes before you snap. Maybe they decide today will be a good day to make pancakes on the carpet, or perhaps shave the cat. No matter the transgression, they push and push and push and that famous line "you're grounded forever" is shouted and inside they're laughing because they know you're full of it.
3. That's it, I'm moving out.
There are days when every parent has just had it. I mean flat out had it. You've kept them from killing each other and burning down the house more times than you can count. You've found all of your new make-up completely destroyed and the walls look like a magical rainbow unicorn projectile vomited all over them. Whatever they've done, they've brought you to the edge and you scream, "That's it! I'm moving out!". No you're not. You're not going anywhere (except possibly crazy) and they know it.
You see, our children are a lot smarter than we give them credit. They know when we're lying and they love to call our bluff. I truly believe they have secret meetings where they share hints and tips on making their parents insane. Yeah, that's it! There's a secret alliance of little kids whose sole purpose is to bring down the parents so they can take over the world. And you know the worst part? We're outnumbered!